Soul Food

On Thursday, my day started with the following text at 8:23 AM:

"Hey girls!  Mom, N and I are gardening today!  Feel free to come by anytime!  :-) xoxxoxoxox"

This was no ordinary invitation to help a friend plant her vegetable garden.

This came from a very dear friend, a woman who was instrumental in helping me get back to life when I was at my lowest.  She has a sweet disposition and a nasty habit of pushing you whether you like it or not.  And, I love her for it and always come back for more because sometimes she knows I am ready before I know I am ready.  She's my boot camp instructor.  This time, it was her turn.  She was waiting for the call.  Her call would bear the results from a biopsy of a mass in her lung.

When I got the text, I knew what I would do that day regardless of what I might have had planned.  I would do whatever it took to make this beautiful person less uncomfortable while she waited for the phone to ring.  And so, I got my gloves, got a drink and got myself over to her house as fast as I could.

We spent a quiet morning planting seeds and veggies, talking, laughing, distracting, waiting and silently worrying.  In the end, when the call came in, it was just the two of us in the car on our way to buy materials to build a trellis.  This was huge for me.  When it was my turn, when I was the one waiting, I was alone when the call came in even though my husband made every effort to be with me when the phone rang.  He took the day off from work and was by my side most of the day.  It was in a 5 minute stretch when I ran out to pick up the kids that the phone finally rang.  Now, I can see it was symbolic.  While my husband grieved the loss of our son as much as I did, the physicality of losing our unborn child was mine to bear alone.

In this case, I was so honored to be in my friend's space when her phone rang.  I was honored to be holding my breath right along side her as she answered and heard.  I was honored to be sharing hugs and tears when the news was good.  And, it was good.  I am so grateful.

She may not realize it, but she gave me the most amazing gift that day.  When she asked me to help her plant her veggies, it was my soul that grew.  She gave my experience a different purpose and a new meaning.  While our circumstances were different, the process was strikingly similar.  It truly is incredible to be able to dig in to the parts that still hurt, find the good and use it to support someone else.  I am thankful that I was able to share in her journey so intimately and come out with a strength I didn't know I had.  Thank you, dear friend.  I can't wait until you are running me ragged again when you are recovered and ready!

Planting seeds and veggies in raised beds while we wait.